What is the Window of Tolerance?
The window of tolerance is a term developed by Dr. Daniel Siegel, and is explained as a state of optimal arousal in which we live in daily life. It is a middle zone where we can ease along in our daily lives while managing minimal stressors. When a challenge or obstacle arises that is too difficult to regulate, our emotions can become hyper-aroused, or hypo-aroused and our window of tolerance becomes narrowed. The body takes on a “flight, fight or freeze” response to this trigger or situation.
Unfortunately, we no longer stay in this window of tolerance state and we fall into the hypo-arousal state or rise into the hyper-arousal state. The window of tolerance is a range of optimal arousal states in which emotions are tolerable and manageable. When an individual is in the window of tolerance they are at ease and are flowing through everyday life and it is easier for them to deal with obstacles and challenges that occur.
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Window of Tolerance Explained
The window of tolerance can change day to day and looks different for everybody. This window of tolerance model includes 3 states folks can be in – the hypo-arousal state, the hyper-arousal state and the window of tolerance. Imagine you have a scale numbered 0-100. On one end starting from 0 you have the hypo-arousal state, in the middle at 50 you have the window of tolerance (neutral), and at 100 you have the hyper-arousal state.
Ideally you want your child to be neutral and in the window of tolerance at 50. It is the optimal zone where your child can carry on with daily life. The window of tolerance that your child has to respond and cope with trauma and challenging situations that arise within their daily life may be small and they can fluctuate through the 3 states often.
Hypo-Arousal State
At the lower end of the scale closer to 0 is the hypo-arousal state. When your child moves into this state they have been under-stimulated. The hypo-arousal state is the freeze or drop response where we see a shutting down, less engagement or dissociation in your child. This state can bring along feelings of being numb, zoned out, along with a lack of energy, disconnection, and lack of interest in things.
Window of Tolerance
In the middle of the range closer to 50 we have the window of tolerance. This neutral zone is where your child feels most comfortable and calm. They are able to push through smaller obstacles and challenges while meeting back in the middle afterwards. Over time we want your child to lessen the time they spend closer to the outer ranges of 0 and 100 and closer to 50.
Expanding the window of tolerance means the body is able to deal with incoming triggers and situations more effectively. We can expand your child’s window of tolerance by finding the best strategies to help with regulation of these triggers, for example mindfulness, meditation, or grounding activities are all ways that can help when stressors come up to lessen the stress of that situation.
Hyper-Arousal State
On the upper end of the scale closer to 100 is the hyper-arousal state. The hyper-arousal state comes from that “flight or fight response.” This comes with a flood of emotions that can be overwhelming because your child’s body can become overstimulated. This can bring forward many different feelings such as panic, anger, anxiety, impulsivity, cyclical thoughts or even difficulty concentrating, and irritability. When an obstacle or situation arises that is outside the zone of being able to tolerate it, your child can rise into a hyper-arousal state where we see the above responses in defense.
So How Can Your Child Improve Their Window of Tolerance?
As stated above, mindfulness, meditation and grounding activities are all ways to target any changes to emotions from stressors in the moment. Mindfulness meditation can help to support attention control, emotion regulation, and self-awareness. The first step in dealing with these stressors is for your child to notice how they are feeling, and notice the sensations that you are feeling currently. You can encourage your child to notice if their heart is beating fast, their breathing is fast, or they feel shaky, or maybe they feel tired and weak.
Next you want to have your child take a few slow breaths and tell them to notice any changes that are happening in their body or feelings. Once they have let a few more breaths out encourage them to try to begin to think of something that they can be grateful for in that situation, and acknowledge their strengths.
Benefits of Mindful Meditation
You can guide your child through mindful meditation in times of high stress or crisis. Practicing something as simple as sitting with their feelings for a few minutes can be helpful to recognize how they are feeling and help to regulate their emotions and get them back in that window of tolerance. When in the hyper-arousal state, encourage your child to try to find activities that are calming, such as guided breathing, meditation, progressive muscle relaxation, and visualization activities. When in the hypo-arousal state we want to begin to stimulate emotions, and senses. This can be done by listening to upbeat music, or engaging in activities that stimulate joy for you such as games, affirmations or sitting with a warm blanket.
Which Therapeutic Activities Are Best?
When practicing therapeutic activities it is important to take note of those that worked most effectively to bring your emotions back down or up into a calm state. With time and practice of responding to triggers that may arise in life, these triggers can have less impact on your emotions and thoughts. When we can self-regulate and have a larger window of tolerance, it becomes easier to deal with challenges that can arise.
When a situation or challenge arises that triggers the above hyper-arousal or hypo-arousal response try to utilize one of the activities listed above to reduce the burden of that challenge in the moment, and keep practicing using these activities, and the response of this trigger can become less of a burden because you know how to regulate these emotions that arise.
If you are interested in learning more about how to expand the window of tolerance, click below to a free, 15-minute consultation call with us.
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